I’ve been thinking…
Lately I’ve had several people say to me that people were a waste of their time. Or that they’re wasting time with them. Or even that I wasted their time (ouch!).
And on the surface it seems like a reasonable thing to say. I mean, we’re all really busy right? And we all have 24 hours in a day and this one lifetime and want to make the best of it. So yeah, let’s not waste each other’s time shall we.
And then I really got to thinking about that and got quite enraged. Because how can another human being be a waste of time?!
HOW?!
Much of this discussion was centered around romantic relationships, so let’s take a look there for a second. I don’t consider any of my ex-boyfriends a waste of time. I mean honestly! The idea sounds so crazy to me.
Each and every one of them have been a part of my journey and my learning. The ones (yes, plural) that my family didn’t like, the one that was pretty much my perfect match but I wasn’t ready for yet, the one that was full of lust and made me wonder if we really had substance, that one I married, the one who taught me the most about the kind of woman I wanted to be in my life and my business.
I could look back over the years and years of dating and find something great about each of these men or the lessons they taught me. Not a single one was a waste of my time. I wouldn’t be where I am today – me as a person, CEO, and not to mention the amazing men I attract into my life currently – if it weren’t for my time spent with these souls.
The same goes for business, education, coaches, etc.
And yet… we are so hard on ourselves aren’t we?!
– Why, oh why did I spend that money?
– Why, oh why did I sign up to work with her?
– Why, oh why did I sign up to be in that program or take yet another group course that I haven’t even touched yet?
Oh boy.
It would be so easy to get into the “I wasted it” trap. I urge you not to go there.
I’ve realized lately what an energy drain that is, not to mention the fact that it makes you wrong about your decisions. And when you’re feeling wrong about your decisions, you slowly erode your trust in yourself. When you no longer trust yourself, you no longer have what it takes to meet your goals.
It’s a vicious cycle.
It’s also an easy one to fall into…. the money is gone, the time is gone, you’re ovaries are twitching (just me?). It’s SO easy to say, “hey wait a minute, where the F did the time go and how much of my life have I wasted?! EEK!”
So the next time you find yourself falling into thinking that you wasted your time, energy, or resources, consider these ideas to reframe your experience and make the most of it –
1. What did you learn?
A bit obvious, but seriously the BIGGEST thing! Life and relationships are a series of lessons learned. The trick is to learn them! And if you don’t learn them the first time, you’ll continue to receive the experiences until you do (hello, half of my ex-boyfriends!).
If you label something as a waste, you haven’t learned the lesson it was there to bring you. And it WILL be back. Take a deeper look and see what’s waiting to be discovered.
2. What’s right about the situation?
Similar to learning the lesson, every situation is an opportunity to find something right about it. Did you meet a new friend in that course that you half-assed? Did you learn to stand up for yourself in that stressful relationship? Did the situation prepare you for what’s to come in your life?
Just like learning the lesson, you MUST find something right about the situation. And yes, even that ex-boyfriend that cheated on you with your best friend at the time. Seriously. There is something there that was perfectly right about it at the time that you need to recognize. What power there is in that!
3. Gratitude
Once you’ve done 1 and 2 above, it’s easy to be grateful for the experience. How awesome is it that life has sent you the people and situations you need in order to learn EXACTLY what it is you need to learn?! Take some time to anchor it in. And then take the time to thank yourself for continuing to learn, grow, and go after what you want. What a powerful being you are!
I am a PRO at these. If you need help, comment or reach out! It’s a practice and sometimes it can be very difficult, but it can be learned. Know that nothing is ever wasted. Ever.
