I didn’t want to leave. Buddy and I spent a month at a beach house on Tybee Island, GA and I simply did NOT want to go.
Why should I?
My own space steps from the beach. Morning runs on flat land with palm trees blowing in the wind and neighbors waving hello. The vibe of a beach town that makes me feel at home and my soul feel free.
Of course I didn’t want to leave.
I packed up the car and took one last walk out onto the sand. I saw the waves crashing, the birds in flight, and felt the sand beneath my toes.
And then something happened…
I was at peace.
I became okay with leaving this beautiful spot and my little slice of heaven that was all mine for a blissful month.
My heart felt lighter, the sadness was gone, and pure gratitude was left in it’s place. And I thought to myself, “huh, I’m okay letting go. And I’ve gotten pretty good at it.”
In fact, I’m kind of a pro at recreating my life.
Perhaps this is why friends call me courageous. Perhaps why I can keep on moving regardless of the fear. Perhaps why I look back on my life and hardly recognize who I was in certain moments.
I recreate in the face of massive amounts of uncertainty.
My coach said to me once that those who are the most comfortable with uncertainty are the most successful.
It makes sense. Being willing to take the next step without knowing how it’s going to turn out. Leaving behind the corporate gig to start your own business. Having the ability to push forward despite not having a clue how something is going to turn out.
But what I realized when I was standing on the beach that day was that being comfortable with uncertainty is a gift. But it’s also one you have to work for and most people never master.
How exactly does one practice uncertainty? How do you get comfortable with the uncertainty of entrepreneurship so you can create the life you’ve always envisioned?
1. Gratitude and Trust
Saying goodbye to my perfect little beach house was difficult, but everything shifted when I realized that it could be mine again. And not only that, I wasn’t sad to be leaving, I was happy I was ever there in the first place!
When you trust that you can experience those feelings of elation/success/abundance (etc) again, it’s easier to practice gratitude for the experience and then move on to the next one.
I didn’t allow myself to believe that I would never feel this way again. In fact, I stood on that beach and KNEW that I would soon again feel so free, joyful, and at peace. A great mantra to use in this moment is “this or something better.”
Get out of lack and the idea that you’ll never have something this great again. You’ve experienced it once, so you know it’s possible for you to have it! Can you trust that you will feel successful again? Abundant? Happy and healthy? Whatever it may be for you, give gratitude that you’ve felt it once and believe it can be yours again.
2. Recognize the Illusion
The thing about uncertainty is that we’ve created a false sense of security about our current situation, as if life isn’t full of ups and downs and curveballs can come our way.
We’ve lead ourselves to believe that our full-time jobs are secure and that paycheck will never disappear. That our partners will remain steady and continue to be by our side. That our children will grow up to be great adults and outlive us.
We’ve gotten comfortable with the idea that life will just keep on ticking perfectly by. It’s not until those curveballs come that we realize we had lulled ourselves into a false sense of security.
When I learned to recognize that me being employed was actually under the control of someone higher than me, that my husband and I could change in ways that didn’t make our marriage work, that despite all of my good intentions sometimes things don’t turn out as I planned… that’s when I realized that getting comfortable with uncertainty may be the best way to feel secure.
Take a look at that thing that’s keeping you feeling safe, and potentially even stuck in place, and really figure out if it’s as safe as you believe. For the wanna-be entrepreneur, this is often the moment where you realize your full time gig isn’t actually giving you that much and putting your future in your own hands is a much safer bet. Oh snap!
Tap in to realize that what you think is your security blanket, might not be it at all. And that leap? It might not be as much of a stretch as you think.
3. Practice, practice, practice
Oh the fun part! Besides shifting your perspective, the best way to get comfortable with uncertainty is to practice feeling it. Actively put yourself into situations where the outcome is uncertain, so you can get used to how it feels in your body, how you react to it, and you won’t run every time you start to feel panic.
Here are some ways to practice:
- Go on a date, especially a blind date or with someone you’ve never met (nothing says uncertainty to me more than showing up a bar and praying the guy you’re meeting isn’t looney tunes)
- Apply for a new job or new position (self-promotion, waiting, and rejection, oh my!)
- Try out a new exercise class that’s way out of your comfort zone (pole dancing anyone?)
- Have a difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding (rip the bandaid…. trust me)
- Play with the idea of moving (you don’t have to actually move in order for this one to work – feel what it would be like to be in a new neighborhood where you don’t know anyone, what would it be like to transfer to a new city, or pretend like you’re moving to an entirely new country)
- Make that appointment you’ve been avoiding (doctor, dentist, colonoscopy…. that one where you’re afraid to know the results)
- Practice smiling and saying hello to everyone you see (to some, this is terrifying because you never know how the other person will respond)
- Break a rule (nothing crazy okay? Take a drink into a store that has a sign on the door that says no outside drinks allowed, let time run out at the parking meter, ask the lady at the post office to give you tape even though you know they want you to buy it instead (did that today and she gave it to me!)… play around with this and simply feel what it’s like to not know what’s going to happen as a result of your actions)
Much like getting out of your comfort zone, learning to get comfortable with uncertainty is a key trait of resilient people.
And resilient people?
They’re the successful ones.
