An EPIC post on visibility: a new tattoo, my first video, and the play by play that gets really personal

Visibility is one of the biggest things I get asked about and seems to be a huge piece of the puzzle for entrepreneurs. So once we get super clear on things like our message, audience, offerings, and such, the next step of course is putting it all out there.

And wow does that seem BIG.

It brings up all of our insecurities, every time we were teased in elementary school, and makes us question ourselves on a totally new level we didn’t even know was there.

It’s a big freakin’ deal – especially if you’re the transformational coach type or the product you’re selling is yourself.

It’s like the ultimate job interview day in and day out.

So yeah, it’s big.

And it must be done (if you want to be successful of course). But how?

And that is the question that brings us to the most epic post on visibility ever!

This one is long, but worth it friends. Because if you’re struggling at all with putting yourself out there, there’s a ton of info for you in this post –

• my first video ever where I commit to upleveling my own visibility (listen in for lessons in fear and limiting beliefs)
• every step of my journey through visibility (the very real and very raw play-by-play)
• the guide to upping your own visibility game (keep this one handy whenever you feel those butterflies)

The idea for this post began with my desire to get a tattoo…

So, a couple of things to point out from the video that are mucho important:

• It’s not perfect – I posted it anyway.
• I didn’t really know what I was going to say, but had a general idea. It flowed easily once I rooted myself in the whole purpose – to be of service in a bigger way.
• I was deeply inspired by this experience and that’s what led to my first ever video, a new level of vulnerability, and a ridiculous amount of insight for others who might be struggling with this visibility thing.
• It’s hilarious that I left my sunglasses on (they’re prescription), but you can still see me raising my eyebrows enough to get some good facial expressions!

The point here is that you just keep stepping up into new levels of visibility for yourself. To some, getting that tattoo would’ve been NBD (no big deal). To me it was pretty huge. Okay actually, it was beyond huge as I keep staring at my wrist as I write this.

So whatever these steps are for you, continue to feel into them and make the stretch that feels a little scary, but oh-so-right.

And to really nail this point home, I’m sharing my own play-by-play on how I’ve done this on my own journey. It’s super real and it’s super raw.

I share it with an open heart and a vulnerability that feels right for this moment.

So here we go!

My own journey to getting visible as an entrepreneur…

2011:
Started to dream of really making IT happen – at some point

Not sure what IT will look like, but it’s time to stop running and being so miserable trying to fit in the box. But there are SO many questions. How? What will people think? Can I really do it? Was is IT exactly? Hmmm… I’ve always loved writing, but that scares the hell out of me because a) am I good enough? and b) well that just seems hard – and impossible.

Jump in slowly by creating my final project for my Master’s degree around writing and starting a blog. Man, this degree is awesome! Get awesome feedback on my writing and getting used to putting myself out there through the project. Not as hard as I thought. Cool! Dedicated the project to my ex husband. Shocked myself but realized the experience was taking me into a new version of myself that I was totally digging. Wow – growth.

Jan 2012:
Decided this would be the year I would leave my full time job – no matter what

Eek! Still no closer to really knowing how it was going to work, but became less worried about the how and more committed to the dream. Began to spill the beans to close friends and family about my plans and dreams. Met with some excitement, but also detecting an undercurrent of – what is that exactly? – scepticism perhaps? It’s cool. Something deep down tells me not to play into their fears.

May 2012:
Become increasingly unhappy in my full time job and sharing my plans to leave (at some point – soon – maybe?) with more and more people, including my boss

But also trying to sell the house and quitting while I have a mortgage payment seems a bit crazy. But I’m miserable. Lots of stress.

August 2012:
Got fed up enough to say to hell with it and quit full time job

The same day I decided to leave, I received an offer on the house. I was THAT serious about leaving. Didn’t even have time to think about what I was going to do with my life. Was way more involved in contracts, finishing up at my office, and packing. Felt pure joy and freedom. Weight lifted off my shoulders as soon as I came out to everyone that I just wasn’t built to do the office thing.

August – Dec 2012:
Planned time off to figure out what I wanted to do and take a break

Moved to Charlotte. Thought I would use the time to write a book but that proves more difficult than I thought. Didn’t write the book or figure it out. Did however enjoy the time off and away from an office.

Jan – April 2013:
Struggled with knowing I needed to get back to work, but felt doomed at the idea of going back to the office. HAD to figure something out. Lots of struggle, heartache, and fights with my partner.

Thought I was done feeling lost when I left my full time gig, but surprise! new level of lost sank into my core.

Started to write more about my divorce and realized how helpful it was to other women. Oddly enough, didn’t find anything odd in putting it out there. Realized I was much more comfortable being vulnerable in writing than anything else. Kept sharing and helping, but wanted to earn money from coaching women going through similar things.

Didn’t have a clue what I was doing and was frustrated with all of the stories about how easy it was to make it happen online. None of that was happening in my own life.

May 2013:
Stepped up my game BIG time and spent $5000 on a private intensive with Gina DeVee in Montecito, CA.

Mom was worried about safety going to a stranger’s house and me flying to CA alone. Family didn’t understand the whole thing at all. Made mental note to point out that my PhD sister goes all over the country to conferences and this is just a more personal version of that. Totally freaking out about the cost and yet knew that something had to change. Sensed this was going to one day be a huge turning point.

Never told partner how much that cost. Knew how that conversation was going to go and was NOT interested in another fight. Felt crappy to hide in my own house. New level of feeling alone creeps in. Feeling torn between out there in the online space and feeling so hidden away in my everyday life.

June 2013:
Knew shifts had happened since working with Gina, but struggled on my own to put it together and with being consistent. Figured out quickly that I needed ongoing support if I was going to make it as an entrepreneur.

June – August 2013:
Worked with a personal coach weekly for ongoing support. Began to truly come out of the entrepreneur closet. Terrified.

Coach said I needed photos of myself on the website and in my newsletters. I didn’t have any good current ones, so I used a photo of myself when I was four. Made sense with the theme of freedom but I was hiding BIG time.

I mean hello, I’m a writer. I enjoy sitting behind my keyboard and clicking away. What’s all this nonsense about?! My words are my power! No one really wants to see me.

Coach said great to finally putting a photo of myself out there, now what about a current photo? I used what I had which was a photo from a recent trip to Maine. I was wearing sunglasses and covered up since it was a bit chilly. He pointed out that the photo was dark and I needed to get new photos taken ASAP. About had a meltdown at the idea.

Coach asked what the hell that was all about and I weeped on the phone that if I put photos of myself out there then people would see I’m not attractive. Very painful to admit and to realize that I thought this about myself. Coach assured me I was indeed quite attractive and that this was a huge turning point for myself and my biz. Indeed. And yikes!

August 2013:
Got photos taken with a friend who’s a photographer. It helped that I knew her and was comfortable with her, even though I was totally stiff in front of the camera. Felt good to finally “come out” and own who I was in those photos. Felt more confident with myself just by going through the process. Recognized this was a huge step.

Added photos to the website and Facebook page by holding my breath and saying fuck it. If I had thought about it for too long, it wouldn’t have happened.

Allowed myself to continue the fuck it vibe so I could put my stuff out there without freaking out every time. Was.not.easy. Did it anyway.

Sometime in mid to late 2013:
Got more feedback and clients and felt like I was actually in business instead of kinda playing with a hobby. Cool!

But still didn’t feel like enough or building fast enough. Did a brief stint as a temp employee in an office for some steady pay. Seemed like the answer to helping my partner feel at ease about this roller coaster ride and wanted to show I cared enough about him and the relationship to take this step. Yet again wanted to shoot myself (I realize this probably isn’t the best metaphor and may even be a sensitive subject for some, but it’s the most real thing coming to mind at the moment). That didn’t last long. Hey, I tried. Sigh.

Sept 2013 – Jan 2014:
Got more and more comfortable with being visible.

No longer care what people from high school might be thinking or if my family didn’t get it. Well okay – still care, but far less and far less frightened of their reaction.

Got more and more involved in Facebook groups and putting myself out there in the online space. Asked for what I needed – help, mastermind, collaborations, etc.

Played around with telling people what I do – practiced whenever I had the chance. Changed up my response to “what do you do” to see what felt good in my body, what their reaction was, and how I felt claiming this new identity for myself.

Began to better embrace the “outgoing” part of my outgoing introvert personality. Got a job at my yoga studio working the front desk. Best environment EVER. All conscious communication, love, and community. But the cleaning toilets part was totally bringing down my vibe. Hmmm.

Loved the environment, coworkers, and free yoga. Seriously struggled with balance between being in the studio and my other work. Felt overwhelmed often. Brought crazy, overwhelm vibe to studio. Soon realized that a) I don’t do well with jumping back and forth between projects/jobs and b) I was earning $9 an hour instead of the $40+ an hour in my biz. Had to quit. Visibility upped big time as I yet again committed full time to my biz and realized I wouldn’t be an employee ever again.

Jan – April 2014:
Booked with clients from referrals.

Badass! I’m getting clients without marketing! Who are ready to commit! Who want to get started right away! Dreams do come true!

Visibility at all time high thanks to people sharing my work around Facebook and referring my services. Felt awesome to be known as THE go-to gal for VA services. Met some amazing ladies and felt honored they had chosen me to work with.

April – May 2014:
Shit gets real. And falls apart.

Realize that many of my so-called ideal clients aren’t ideal at all. Get frustrated with all of the back and forth between clients, projects, and emails. Understand that I chased the money instead of going after my zone of genius. Oh shit.

Got fired by two of my favorite clients in the same day. Ouch. Major ah-has through major painful moments.

Visibility tested in regards to boundaries. Clients would disappear then reappear with demands. Stand my ground. Be visible with my power in the situation. Stand up for myself, my vision, and what I deserve. Growing pains like a mutha.

Stayed visible in a community full of ex-clients that didn’t work out for various reasons. Wondering what they’re all saying behind my back. Feel shame for how some of it went down. Anger at others. Sadness with a couple. Deep breaths. Let it go. Stay out there and stand in my truth!

Began to get super clear on EXACTLY what I love, the women I can help the most, and what way of working kicks major ass for both me and my clients.

June 2014:
Did another photo shoot to upgrade the photos I had and speak more to who I am in my business now. Was more comfortable behind the camera, but still relied on my friend for help in just being me and relaxing into the spotlight. Felt totally at home in my fun pink shirt, black blazer, skinnies, and Toms wedges. Fun and profesh – totally me.

June – October 2014:
Commitment at all time high.

Divine download to do intensives. Zone of genius firmly accepted. Hired new coach. Never felt SO aligned before in my life.

Frustration still creeps in – I just want to help damnit! Recommit. Recommit. Then recommit again. Be still and know.

Finally claiming my talent and understanding why I’m on this earth. New level shit.

Oct 8, 2014:
Tattoo day arrives.

Got a tattoo on my right wrist- up leveling my commitment to my visibility, playing a bigger game in this world, and embracing more of who I am. Even do my first video because hey, why the hell not (coaches have been telling me to do this for a year but I wasn’t feeling it) and I’m here to stay bitches.

MAJOR downloads and ah-has about this whole visibility thing. Start and evolve. Stretch. Recommit. Say fuck it. Know I have to share every nitty gritty detail in order to really drive this point. Only slightly nervous as this isn’t really about me – it’s about the purpose, the women who will get all of this on a deeper level, and the world we will change together.

Hot damn! This is really IT. I really have arrived…. and yet there will be SO much more.

________________

Wow friends. If you’re still with me at this point then a big thanks and high five. Because the whole point was so that you could see the journey and how it evolves over time. I truly, truly hope this has served this purpose for you.

To take it to the next level, I’m also putting together a Guide to Getting Visible. You’ll find it helpful every time you have those butterflies and as you continue to uplevel yourself in this area, whether you’re just getting started or Oprah has finally called you to join her on SuperSoul Sunday.

It will be added to The Doula Library next week, an entire resource library I’ve been dreaming of creating filled with my best stuff that touches on every area involved in birthing your ideas from your heart out into the world.

You can gain access to The Library by clicking here and you’ll receive an email when it’s ready.

And for now, I’m keeping a bit of privacy and not sharing all that this tattoo means to me. But I will say this – it’s very meaningful and reminds me of my core values.

Filled to the brim with gratitude,
Amy

Don’t forget to get early access to your Visibility Guide and The Doula Library here.